7 Lies That Keep You From Having Balance and Boundaries

If it's true that what you believe will directly impact the decisions that you make, and influence the outcome of your situation, (which I do agree with), then it is critical to check-in with ourselves, paying particular attention to the places where we are struggling.

Most women in ministry would not say they are thriving. Many feel as if it is all that they can do to get through the day. They are in survival mode, burned out, and depleted. Talking with these women reveals that many, if not most, are believing a lie that is keeping them from thriving.

According to dictionary.com, a lie is "a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood."

Now, if you're like me, you might be thinking that you are too savvy and wise to fall prey to assertions designed to mislead you. But that's the thing about deception. It is subtle and unassuming. It creeps in, disguising the lies as reasonable...expected, yet in reality, untrue. And when we build practices and rhythms into our life and ministry that are woven together with lies as the foundation, the ground beneath us will continue to shift, and we will struggle to find our footing.

As women begin to share their stories, common themes start to emerge. There are chants of the mind beating like a drum, steadily and quietly. Here are seven lies that keep you from having balance and boundaries.


  • Good Leadership is being available 24/7, so I need to be accessible all of the time.
  • Self-care is selfish.
  • I have to give up Sabbath, rest, and my heart’s desires. It’s the cross I must bear.
  • If I create space and margin, I will miss out on the opportunity to do or produce something valuable.
  • More+Bigger=Better
  • I can do it all. And if I can’t do it all, I must not have what it takes.
  • I’ll never have healthy balance and boundaries. This is just the way it’s going to be.


Do any of these strike a chord within you? Can you hear the beat of a familiar drum? You are not alone! I have believed each of these lies at one time or another. And I have listened to colleagues, and congregational members state them as values and expectations. Maybe you have too. No wonder we live and lead at a pace that is sucking the life out of us.

Over the next seven weeks, we are going to examine each one of these lies and replace them with the truth. We believe that balance and boundaries makes you an effective leader and that you can thrive in ministry. And we are committed to supporting you every step of the way!


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