Things I'm Learning When I Can't Find God [EP:116]

Are you praying but God is silent? Are you listening but don’t hear a thing? Are you searching, seeking, leaning in and just can’t seem to find God at all? You are not alone. I’m right there with you. And in this episode I’m going to share with you some of the things I’m learning along the journey.


What is this place?

Sometimes this is referred to as what St. John of the Cross called the dark night of the soul, the place where beginners are being led to a place of growth and maturity. God is intentionally taking us from a sweet place in order for us to commune more deeply with Him. St. John of the Cross likens it to a mother who weans a nursing child intentionally so that they can feed on something more substantial.


As St. John of the Cross looked at this process (he was a Spanish mystic from the 1500’s, Carmelite monk, a follower of Teresa of Avila) he explained that it was necessary for the soul to go through a purging process in order that the person may be brought into what he called, Divine union of the soul with God. The dark night is an intentional process designed to reveal spiritual imperfections to cleanse us from the things deeply rooted in us that are taking the place of God. 


Pete Scazzero refers to this process as journeying through the wall. He also believes that this process is a necessary way that God grows us into mature Jesus followers. And as God brings us to the wall, a place where we are going through difficult things and we can’t seem to find Him, God is stripping us of all the things that keep us from Him.


Here's What I'm Learning

  • I lack patience with myself to grow. 
  • I lack patience with God and the ability to wait for Him and what He wants to bring, give, do, when He wants to do it.
  • I pursue the sense, the feelings, feelings of spiritual things, rather than just God.


This hard season:


  • Is exposing my limited and self-centered perspective. (Underneath the surface there is something that is self serving, self gratifying)
  • Is revealing the things I’m holding on to or striving for or searching for that aren’t God. Even godly things can’t be a substitute for God himself.
  • Comes from the love of God and His desire to grow us. He is preparing us for the day when Jesus comes again. God wants us to experience the joy of my salvation.  (Philippians 1)
  • Is forming and shaping me so that I would develop Christ-like character and so that I would lack nothing.
  • Is showing me that struggling and suffering are a part of our life with Christ. It’s necessary.
  • Reminds me that God is doing something good in me. God knows what’s best for me.


  • Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross
  • Pete Scazzero: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, The Emotionally Healthy Church, The Emotionally Healthy Leader.
  • Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Website full of courses, books, a great podcast and an emotionally healthy leadership live online event coming up in early December. You can check it all out HERE!!
  •  The Ascent of Truth by Thomas Merton



Receive weekly videos to help you create space to cultivate your soul.