Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking. -Henry Cloud
Many of us wonder how we ended up where we are today...so far away from the person we were created to be. It's because we are caught up in The Drift.
We have one life to live and we don't want to leave anything to chance. Boundaries are key to keeping us on track. That means that we need to grow in spiritual and emotionally maturity and exercise the authority Jesus gave us over our life and leadership. In other words, we need to become the adult. We need to take responsibility for our own choices.
And yet, many of us are at the whim of the waters, being tossed back and forth by everyone else's opinion...
The waters of life may seem calm but we are always in jeopardy of drifting. There is an undertow that is subtle and slow that constantly wants to pull us away from being the person we were created to be.
What do you to do protect yourself against the drift? Set boundaries.
Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out.
-Henry Cloud: Boundaries
Boundaries are a normal part of our lives. We find boundaries in our neighborhoods, on our streets, and within creation itself. God put boundaries into place for our wellbeing and peace. So, whether it's a physical boundary, behavioral boundary, relational boundary or emotional boundary...having boundaries are necessary...
A gradual shift in attitude, opinion or position.
An aimless course.
To move along a line of least resistance.
To vary or deviate from a set course or adjustment.
You will never drift into a mind filled with peace. You will never drift into a heart full of life. You will never drift into contentment and security. Perfect peace comes when we intentionally and continually fix our thoughts on God (Isaiah). A heart that flows with life comes when we constantly are on guard...carefully choosing what we let in. (Proverbs 4:23) Security comes when we cling to God (Psalm 63).
We can't think whatever we want, watch whatever we want, meditate on what ever we want and cling to whatever we want and hope to somehow stay aligned and focused on who God created us to be.
Set boundaries and take ownership of your soul and do the hard work of keeping watch.
And we'll talk more about...
If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.
If you're like me, you have a vision of what you want this summer. But here's what ends up happening...time goes by. Before you know it, the summer is over and there is so much that never happened.
Planning helps you be thoughtful and intentional about the time ahead. Planning takes your vision from an idea to reality.
Set aside 30 minutes to spend time with God. Put this commitment on your calendar and keep it as you would any other appointment.
Let me ask you…Are you an automatic YES person? Do you always say yes when someone asks you to do something? Is that your default answer? Or, what about this one…Maybe you’d like to say no but you don’t know how to break that cycle. Or maybe you don’t even know what answer to give, is this something you SHOULD do or not…or perhaps you wonder…do I have a choice?? In today’s episode I am going to share with you some tips on how you can discover and learn whether you should say yes or whether you should say no…and we’ll also chat about HOW to communicate your decision.
Don't Give An Answer Right Away. Create space between the ask and the answer. Say something like, "let me check on a few things and get back to you." There is power in pausing. This helps use be thoughtful
Ask God. We tend to only ask God about the "big" things. But every yes adds up. God...
You know you want to create margin and integrate healthy rhythms into your life and leadership but where do you start? What are some ideas of practical things you can put into place. In this episode I’m going to share with you some ideas for margin to help you get started.
I was leading a workshop on making margin at a women's clergy conference and someone raised their hand and said...I know that this is going to be different for each of us, but what are some practical examples of what margin could look like in our lives? Where do we start?
I loved this question! Yes, the type of margin we need will be different for each of us. In fact, it will shift and change in our own lives as we live and lead through different seasons. But there are some ways you can begin. And in this episode I share how you can get started.
Are you feeling marginalized as a woman in ministry? Is your contribution and leadership not valued? Are your ideas ignored? This is a common challenge that many women face, even in denominations and churches that say they welcome women in ministry.
If you haven’t experienced this, I’m thankful and I would encourage you to listen to this episode because I am willing to guarantee there is someone you know who has, even if they are in a denomination or church that embraces an egalitarian model of ministry.
If we aren’t careful we over extend ourselves. We will try to prove them wrong if they question our leadership. We will over compensate and do more. We won’t stop because we are afraid that we’ll be judged or we won’t be seen. And we can spend endless amounts of time and energy trying to fight and make our case for why we belong in ministry. We...
Is the pace of life and ministry unsustainable? Are there too many things to manage? Do you wish you could slow down?
In today's episode, I interview Jodi Grubbs who is a slow living advocate. Here are some of the things we talk about:
If you're passionate about something, slowing down will help you.
You are not going to hear God say, "I need to hustle more!"
If we are doing this for God and not for other people, we need to take seriously all the slow living that Jesus did.
Jodi is a former island girl and is passionate about coming alongside women who long for that shift to slower living. She is a writer and the host of Our Island in the City Podcast where she loves...
Are you having trouble figuring out what healthy rhythms and boundaries would work for you? Most pastors and leaders I talk with know that they need to put boundaries in place but they are just not sure what will work. And not knowing is what’s keeping them stuck in the unhealthy patterns of leadership.
This is episode 100 of the Women in Ministry United Podcast!
From the launch in March 2019, the journey has been filled with twists and turns. If you've been with me for a lengthy period of time, you know that this began as the Giving Up Normal Podcast where we focused on giving up the normal things that are hurting your soul so that you could live as the person God created you to be.
While that heartbeat continues, God's call for my leadership got more specific and as my ministry focused on helping women in ministry break free from the cycles of busyness and overwhelm and create healthy rhythms and boundaries...the name of the podcast changed to simply, The Women in Ministry United Podcast!
Today, as we celebrate the 100th episode, I share with you 4 lessons that I've learned from you, the community, as you share your experience creating and maintaining healthy rhythms and boundaries in your life and leadership. Exposing these common realities...