“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 MSG

 

Fall will soon be upon us and once it starts it feels like one big jump to the end of the year. When you get to the end of 2022, what do you want to be different for you? Who do you want to be? In this episode of the Margin Maker podcast, I take you through some of the questions I use with my clients as they create healthy rhythms and boundaries and care for their soul.

Before you make a plan of action you need to be able to see the vision Jesus has for you.

Pull out a piece of paper, a journal, or something to capture what Jesus will say to you. Get...

Summer is my favorite season but this summer has been hard. When things became overwhelming, I made 3 life-giving decisions that have made all the difference in the world.

My 3 Decisions

• I deleted all news apps on my phone. There is something to be said about being informed about what is happening in our world and in our communities, but watching and reading the news was not helping me be the best version of myself. I wasn't more loving. I wasn't more empathetic. The constant bombardment of watching people tear each other down while not making any strides to actually solve any issues was too much, so I quit and it has been life-giving!

• I stopped my morning bible and prayer routine. Ok, before you think I've lost it completely, let me tell you what I started doing. My husband and I started having coffee outside in the mornings. We also go for a morning walk. And I have been using the 30 Days to Resilient feature on the Pause App put together by John Eldredge and...

Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.        -Henry Cloud

Many of us wonder how we ended up where we are today...so far away from the person we were created to be. It's because we are caught up in The Drift.

We have one life to live and we don't want to leave anything to chance. Boundaries are key to keeping us on track. That means that we need to grow in spiritual and emotionally maturity and exercise the authority Jesus gave us over our life and leadership. In other words, we need to become the adult. We need to take responsibility for our own choices.

And yet, many of us are at the whim of the waters, being tossed back and forth by everyone else's opinion...

The waters of life may seem calm but we are always in jeopardy of drifting. There is an undertow that is subtle and slow that constantly wants to pull us away from being the person we were created to be.

What do you to do protect yourself against the drift? Set boundaries.

Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out.

-Henry Cloud: Boundaries

Boundaries are a normal part of our lives. We find boundaries in our neighborhoods, on our streets, and within creation itself. God put boundaries into place for our wellbeing and peace. So, whether it's a physical boundary, behavioral boundary, relational boundary or emotional boundary...having boundaries are necessary...

A gradual shift in attitude, opinion or position.

An aimless course.

To move along a line of least resistance.

To vary or deviate from a set course or adjustment.

This is what it means to drift.

You will never drift into a mind filled with peace. You will never drift into a heart full of life. You will never drift into contentment and security. Perfect peace comes when we intentionally and continually fix our thoughts on God (Isaiah). A heart that flows with life comes when we constantly are on guard...carefully choosing what we let in. (Proverbs 4:23) Security comes when we cling to God (Psalm 63).

We can't think whatever we want, watch whatever we want, meditate on what ever we want and cling to whatever we want and hope to somehow stay aligned and focused on who God created us to be.

What do you do if you are caught in the drift?

Set boundaries and take ownership of your soul and do the hard work of keeping watch.

And we'll talk more about...

What do you do when the unexpected happens and you know you are beyond your emotional and physical capacity to get things done? Do you insist that you press on because that's what committed leaders do? Or do you rearrange things in order to create the space you need?

Most of us hesitate to create margin when the unexpected happens. We want to follow through with our obligations, serve people well, and be a person of our word. But most of the motivation to continue comes from guilt when we need time and margin for the unexpected.

In this episode of the podcast, I share lessons that I have learned over the last few weeks as I have been dealing with hurt and grief in the unexpected.

Things I Learned

• Have some a re-entry plan as you get back into your work after spending time away.
• Pay attention to the leading of the Holy Spirit and FOLLOW His promptings to create space when unexpected hard things happen...even if it means telling someone that you can't do...

Is your to-do list out of control? Do you struggle with trying to check everything off of it? Do want to get things done but don't feel like you are making much progress?  If you want to know the secrets to conquering your to-do list so it doesn't conquer you...this conversation is for you!  

As busy Christian women leaders, we often are trying to manage ALL of the things and get it ALL done and yet as hard as we work, we still feel like we are falling short.   

• What if you knew exactly what to do? 
• What if you had space and time to step in the gap to help serve others?
• What if you could celebrate what you accomplished rather than regretting that you didn't do it all? 
• What if you actually aren't supposed to do it all in the first place?  

Your to-do list is not the boss of you! So let's chat about how you can conquer it before it conquers you!!!  

Shape the Margin Maker Conversations

If there...

How does space and margin integrate or intertwine with tragedy, grief, or loss? Do you tend to feel guilty for creating space when there's chaos happening in the world, in your community, or in your own life? Or do you feel like you have permission to step back and create boundaries...even in the midst of grief and loss?

In this episode, I share my thoughts and observations from interactions with other women leaders as we wrestle with making margin alongside the recent heartache that has gripped our country and the church. 

Many of us are trying to process the recent school shooting in Uvalde, Texas. It's difficult to find the time and the right people. At the same time, there is a profound sense of hurt that has been exposed more fully as the Southern Baptist Convention released its report giving details on those responsible for hundreds of cases of abuse within the church. Many of us have gone through the pain of being violated physically or emotionally...

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail. 

                                     -Benjamin Franklin

If you're like me, you have a vision of what you want this summer. But here's what ends up happening...time goes by. Before you know it, the summer is over and there is so much that never happened.

Planning helps you be thoughtful and intentional about the time ahead. Planning takes your vision from an idea to reality. 

Here's How You Can Plan for the Season Ahead

Set aside 30 minutes to spend time with God. Put this commitment on your calendar and keep it as you would any other appointment.

Questions to Ask as You Plan Your Summer

• God, what is your vision for me over these next few months?
• What do you envision for my life, my family, my leadership? This can include things like your relationship with Him, your physical health, mental health, emotional...

Tired of being overwhelmed as a leader and never having enough time for the things that are the most important to you? Are you tired of living and leading in a way that keeps you from being your true self? If you want things to change...if you’re ready for things to change...if you find yourself wishing that somehow things would just change…this is for you!

It's time to stop making excuses about why you can't have the healthy rhythms and boundaries you need to thrive in life and leadership. You don't have to stay stuck. And there is a community that will help you every step of the way!

The Margin Maker Collective

No more excuses! Start making the margin you need to thrive in your life and leadership! As a member of the Margin Maker Collective, you will receive:

• Monthly Group Coaching call with Q&A
• Monthly Soul Care + Spiritual Direction group coaching call
• Monthly Accountability group call
• Quarterly Online Planning Retreat (January, April, July, October)
• ...